Wednesday, 16 September 2009

The Happiest Place on Earth (Paris Edition): Please Keep All Hands and Feet Inside the Plane At All Times...

In a way, I was dreading my return to Scotland. Everyone in Germany had been complaining about the bad weather, bad food, and personal safety. It had really gotten to me. I arrived at Charles de Gaulle to catch my flight back to Glasgow, dreading the excess baggage and a little something I like to call the Disney effect. You see, Glasgow has one (direct) flight a day to Paris. The purpose of this flight, is not a homage to the Auld Alliance, nor is it for students who want a cheap flight home. The purpose is to get to Disneyland Paris.
You see, Easyjet's once a day service is a Disney run, full of two types of small children, ranging in age from 6 months (yes, people do take babies that small to Disneyworld) to fourteen. These two types of children are: A.) Children who are on their way to Disneyland for the first (or second, third, fourth etc.) time in their life and are more than suitably excited (more like in desperate need of Adderall) OR B.) Children who are returning from Disneyland and are still wound-up from the wonderful world of Disney. Type B results in temper tantrums, a general glazed-over look, and/or/with hyperactivity.
On this note I made my way to the check in desk, afraid of what I would find. The last time I checked in, a small child had wedged himself into the cabin carry-on measurer, got stuck on the way out, and then ran around going: "Roaaaaaaaaar!" This time I managed to get away unscathed (avoiding being run over by children on a luggage trolley joyride), that is, until I took my seat. This time the small child (approximately five years of age) in front of me had decided to be bad. It was completely obvious that he wasn't ill. He kept feigning "tummy aches" until his mother bought him Pringles, and then refused to share with his mother (and sister). He continued by hitting his mother, and crying whenever anyone's hand even came near the crisps. As we deplaned, (his mood completely euphoric) he pinched his mother while shouting: "I LIKE PINK I LIKE PINK!" interjected with "I'M SO HAPPY! I'M SO HAPPY!" His mother's response was even more priceless when he pushed her out of the way: "Ugh, you BLOODY TROLL!"
Needless to say, despite the sunny weather and the warm temperatures, I knew I was back in Scotland, and as I walked past a tavern in Partick, and a drunken man began to sing "Lady in Red" as I walked by (undoubtedly because of my red raincoat), I smiled, happy to be back.

1 comment:

Susanne said...

stuck in the carry-on-measure? The mental picture alone had me laughing...all the while remembering a certain child pushing out an inside window in the plane with her feet and then the flight engineer had to be called much to the embarrassment of the poor parents...i guess there was a troll in there that day...but luckily it has since left...(we think)