Tuesday, 5 January 2010

There's A Card For That...

America, home of Snuggies/Slankets (for dogs too!), Ped Eggs, spray on hair, and the personal family favourite of kooky gadgets, the Sure Clip! It's not because of their amazing advertising slogans ("Gives you the freedom to use your hands!"or "no more flying clips!"), but their general capability of instilling one of two feelings:
A.) The scary-you-aren't-sure-if-they-mean-it: "Oh my God, I need this!"
B.) The puzzled-sometimes-laughter-induced: "What the...?!?"
Perhaps I've been living in Europe too long, or maybe when I lived here I was more immune to the strangeness often marketed as convenience. One thing is for sure, nothing quite prepared me for today's card shopping adventure. Good cards are hard to find in most places. Sure, you have the choice of about fifty, but how many of those actually are attractive/fitting/not heinously ugly? You have to be careful. Sending a thank you note was never so treacherous!
Christmas makes it all the more difficult. What if the people in question aren't religious? What if they hate cute animals? What if they're Jewish?
Thankfully Hallmark has found a way around these taxing decisions. Apple has an App for everything. Hallmark has a card for everything. Literally. Everything. From those must be commemorated moments of awe and wonder, to those you would perhaps want to pass by quickly, these cards spare little.
I'll let you judge for yourself:

How P.C...

Spiritual Message...gone awry

"Cards for Unique Needs"
Divorce Announcement, Menopause, Weight Loss Encouragement, Miscarriage, Stay in School, and Secret Pen Pal.


...Too Far?

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